Getting Home

Cunard Cruise Lines had a tagline back in the day: getting there is half the fun.

I think this is because getting back clearly isn't. From the curb at ZAN to the curb at DCA: 31hrs 47min.

ZAN
Small little airport. It has three "gates" which are really just three sets of double doors that open on to the same patch of pavement. This was the only place where the domestic baggage weight limit was enforced. Precision charged me 15,000 TSH (a bit over $10) for being 6kg over. Two pretty decent souvenir shops considering. Everything is marked in dollars but gladly accept shillings at pretty close to the exchange rate. Prices were about what I had haggled for in Arusha.

DAR
A bit bigger. This is where the trip was most uncomfortable. I arrived several hours before KLM started checkin, so had to wait outside. It's kinda hot and nothing to do. Someone from Leopard Tours (big safari operator here) offered a place to stash bags and take me into Dar for dinner. I declined, but some other passengers took them up on it and they seemed happy with it.

There are a few shops outside, but having seen the post-security shops I wouldn't waste time here souvenir hunting unless you want to stuff it in your checked bags. ATMs helpfully have a 10,000TSH minimum (~$7) for getting snacks or, in my case, a souvenir note.

Got checked in and through immigration - they'll take your picture, so try not to look too annoyed. Upstairs is like a whole other world. Several souvenir shops, a cafe (with cold beer), and air conditioning that seems to work. Everything up here was priced in dollars, but they take shillings at a fair rate (1400:1).

Very late boarding the flight ... I think some folks didn't realize they were in DAR and had to get off the @#$% plane. I had switched to a window seat near the back of the airplane since it appeared I would have a row to myself. This was not the case.

AMS
Got here a little late. Cursory passport check at the gate by the Dutch authorities. Got up to the KLM Crown Lounge and put my name on the wait list for a shower and had second breakfast. (First breakfast on the plane wasn't bad ... KLM does a decent job with food.) Surprisingly good croissants and plenty of champagne and vodka. On hour (and two screwdrivers later) it's shower time. Believe it or not, the shower access was the main reason I got club access, and it is well worth it.

Looked around the terminal a bit (branch of the Rijksmuseum was closed for renovation; casino next door is small and unremarkable; purportedly awesome observation deck is actually after security) then went to the gate.

Huge line. Just like last time, it's the full-on document and x-ray check. Since I flew in from Tanzania, I got a bit of special attention re: my checked bags (the old "did you pack your bags yourself?" they used to ask everyone a few years ago). The magnetometer was a joke: everybody set it off, not just the idiot that went through it wearing a metal watch and 6-8 rings on his hands. I'm convinced they had it on a setting to detect anyone with a pulse which gives them an excuse to pat down everybody. Then again, this was the flight of the infamous "crotch bomber."

Flight over was very long, but that happens when you don't sleep. Saw a few movies. DL's in-flight entertainment system < KLM's system. And some DL dummy didn't think to put English copies of the US Customs declaration form on the flight over. I almost filled out the Dutch version, but a few questions I couldn't figure out, so I'd just hastily fill one out when I got there.

We finally land. We're all up and ready to go when the stews tell us to sit down. Two CBP officers walk on board. Uh oh. They call for one fellow to get his stuff. It was a south-asian looking male (Indonesian or Indian or something like that) with an Islamic-sounding name. They take him off the plane, and then they let us off.

DTW
Clearing Customs was uneventful. Rescreening at the transfer point. Is airport security so bad that we have to be rescreened every time, or do they just have so little faith in somebody else's screening abilities? (FWIW, I didn't set off the magnetometer here, reaffirming my suspicions of the one at AMS.)

Up to DL's Sky Club. I will never underestimate the restorative powers of hummus, chocolate chip cookies and cuba libres.

Moseyed to the gate. Flight to DCA is mostly full. And Sen. Carl Levin (D-MI) is on the flight... in coach! I thought he'd be taller. And flying business class.

Flight to DCA also uneventful. Though I will note that outside of Detroit, short-track oval racecourses outnumber baseball/softball diamonds 3:1.

DCA
Look, it's DCA. Not a whole lot to say. Felt like someone left the heat on in the jetway, but it's really just 100F outside. Baggage was a minor clusterfuck: Nobody knew for sure which belt our bags were on. Lady at luggage office said 2... skycap said 3... monitors above the belt said nothing. 20 minutes later my bags arrived, on belt 3.

Long hot wait at taxi rank. Stopped my stopwatch. Nearly 32 hours in transit. Wow. Ride home was surprisingly quick.

Left glasses in back seat. At least I managed to lose them at the very end. Arlington Blue Top cabs not all that helpful in tracking them down. So a trip to the wilds of Falls Church to see if the driver left them at their offices.